Spontaneity can frighten some people. An element of losing control is involved, which may explain why some of us are afraid to show it.
If we’ve been operating under strict rules of conduct that prohibit a show of free spirit, such as: be good, be right, be perfect, be strong, don’t have fun, always be in control, then it’s no surprise our spontaneity goes AWOL on a regular basis.
Some people even associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self-destructive or irresponsible manner……however, this isn’t what we’re talking about when it comes to displaying natural spontaneity. Good spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are in a manner that is fun, honest and healthy, in a way that doesn’t hurt us – it also doesn’t infringe on the rights of others.
We all have it within us – our spontaneity returns when we learn to become more self-aware and we begin to grow in our self-esteem. This free spirit emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all such desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of the hold we have to control ourselves, and others, so that we fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself and your need to be right all the time. So, what if you make a mistake? So, what if you’re wrong? Relish your imperfections! Let yourself be funny, vulnerable, confused, bewildered, even. Go on, take a risk!
We can, indeed, ‘lose ourselves’ in the moment, quite gloriously, without hurting ourselves or anyone else for that matter – in fact, just watch and you’ll see everyone around you benefit from your positive spontaneity!