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Success “stress”
Telling yourself a different story about “stress” helps create a different relationship with it.
Being “stressed” is an expression I’ve never really liked, but the feeling, whatever you wish to call it, means your life is meaningful. You’re feeling this way because you care about the people and activities in your life.
Fear of failure can be a big one for kids as they return to school for the new academic year, leading to all sorts of uncomfortable feelings of anxiety. Encouraging both parents and children to treat mistakes as opportunities for celebration makes much more sense. The very fact that something challenging has been attempted, whatever the outcome, increases resilience and develops that streak of fearlessness vital for any super-hero!
This shift in perspective is helpful at any age. Whenever things start to feel too much, remember it’s because you care and are challenging yourself. Become aware of what you’re feeling. People talk about mindfulness as being some sort of soft and fluffy technique that shows no real evidence of achieving much in the way of stress-management.
The fact is that mindfulness strategies offer a way to stop in our tracks, to step out of auto-pilot mode and notice how we’re feeling in the moment. To pause, take a breath and to ask ourselves the question, “how overwhelmed, anxious, helpless, disempowered etc. am I really feeling?”
Once you acknowledge the feeling, focus on your ability to address the situation. Mindfulness strategies help discipline the mind. They help you to cope by slowing down and eventually stopping those unhelpful thoughts from spinning around in your head. The regular practice of mindfulness teaches you how to focus your attention on the here and now, so that you can actually solve the problem you’re faced with in that moment, without the scatter-gun mindset we’re usually battling as the norm. We’re left with a feeling of calm descending over us, with a simple, absolute knowing that we have all the resources within us to handle this. We know that we can trust ourselves to get through it. As the song goes: “what a feeling!” ……eh?!?
Mindfulness practice is essentially the simple decision to pay attention to where you are, what you’re doing and what you’re feeling at any given moment. One research study found that washing dishes in a mindful (as opposed to a mindless) way – paying attention to the bubbles and the scent, for instance, reduced stress levels.
Research with MRIs also shows that continued practice actually changes the neurological structure of the brain. People who are regular practitioners of mindfulness are better able to regulate difficult emotions, become more adept at managing crises, have lower levels of toxic chemicals, such as nor-adrenaline, flowing through their bloodstream, with the consequent reduction of anxiety, depression and chronic pain symptoms.
High-level athletes know that living with pressure and managing stress levels are all part of improving performance and achieving success. Further research studies have found that professional athletes were more likely to perceive relaxation strategies as relevant to performance than their recreational athlete counterparts. Professional athletes understand that their mental processes are just as an important part of their success as any other sporting strategy. They deliberately utilise relaxation and breathing techniques to manage both performance and everyday anxiety, ultimately enhancing their chances of winning those medals, not to mention their overall quality of life.