When people are first introduced to the concept of detachment in relationships, many of them find the idea questionable, if not objectionable.
Some think it means that we must no longer care for our loved ones, if we detach from them. Some believe that by worrying, controlling and forcing things to happen, surely this shows how much we do care?
If we are too outcome focused, we are clearly imposing our conditions, however much we may say or think that we’re not. In our desire to fix things, it means that we are not fully open or receptive to the other, simply because we have our own outcome at the forefront of our mind. We are, therefore, with or without realising it, discounting the needs of others, and can no longer see all the possibilities available to us.
Detaching does not mean that we don’t care. In fact, it means the total opposite. It means letting go, completely, of our need to control the outcome. When we want to do or give something to another for what we think is for their benefit, whilst this may be something that makes us feel better, it may not be what’s best for them. Even if we’re right, wanting to control any outcome in such a way never works between people – not in the long run.
By practising detachment, with love, we enhance all our relationships. It opens the door to exploring what’s possible, allowing for a mutually beneficial experience, with or without the need to find a solution. It reduces any frustration and frees us to be honest in our communication, with no fear of comeback, enabling us to live in peace and harmony, even with all our individual differences.
Healthy detachment enables us to see the truth, from a place of unconditional love. It shows that we really do care, about ourselves and others. It allows us to have our feelings, to truly own them and to stop reacting badly when our buttons are pressed. It allows our higher self to initiate a positive course of action with good boundaries and encourages others to do the same.
Trust the process and give it a go ……and when you’ve made this common-sense concept of detachment, your common practice, I’d defy anyone to say that you don’t care!
Happy detaching…… with much love.