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It’s all about the energy and keeping our channels clear
Many of us live in our heads because feelings can be too frightening. It’s far easier to stay in our heads, thinking, believing and judging, because doing so seems safer than navigating through our uncomfortable feelings. People who are good at this could be referred to as “dead below the neck” folk, simply because there’s no evidence of any life below the neck!! They refuse to feel and, therefore resort to thinking about everything, often coming across as cold, detached and unfeeling, and in many cases, that’s exactly what they are.
The energy of a feeling doesn’t die or go away because we ignore or resist it. In fact, it is the energy of the unacknowledged feeling beneath the distorted thoughts that keep us stuck. Our feelings send harmonious or disharmonious energy signals throughout our bodies. If we just dropped our hands to our sides, sat in the feeling for a moment and just breathed, instead of numbing out, the bad feeling would pass. Too often, though, we choose to avoid feelings because they frighten us, but by learning how to harness the energy behind our thoughts, our emotions will no longer be in control of how we feel and what we do. How much time is wasted feeling bad, when we could so easily move on and out of that negative feeling?
Think of it this way: the mind is like a little puppy. A puppy will run around all over the place until we train him to do otherwise. If we don’t train the puppy, he’ll grow into a fully grown dog that will pee all over the carpet, chew our shoes and even attempt to hump our guests! When we train our “puppy mind” to sit, stay and roll over on command, our thoughts become clearer and our negative feelings become easier to identify and navigate and can, therefore, be released that much quicker. An untrained mind is like a loose cannon and a liability to our emotional wellbeing.
Of course, training the mind can be difficult, but with sustained practice, we see a development in the skill until we finally achieve mastery of the mind. That’s where meditation and forgiveness come into play. These two practices – meditation and forgiveness – can absolutely still the “puppy mind” so that blocked energy can bubble up to the surface and be released in order for energy channels to remain clear – think of it as a bit like a dyno-rod exercise: vital if we want to keep our pipes clean!!
Being quick to judge means we’re also slow to forgive. Self-righteousness kicks in, we believe what we have always believed and we stubbornly stick to it, refusing to let go. Unfortunately, our toxic thoughts and feelings do not nurture or nourish us, they make us ill and certainly don’t allow us to achieve any sense of peace. Here’s a simple formula for recognising discordant thoughts and feelings: first, you think, then you feel and finally you hold the energy in your body. For example, if you think that you have been abandoned by someone, you may feel the need to hold on to things and other people. As a result, you may act more clingy or needy, which will chase people away from you, which will in turn prompt even greater feelings of abandonment within you.
Dead below the neck folk (those people who refuse to feel their true feelings!) will do just the opposite – rather than deal with their repressed thoughts and feelings of abandonment, they refuse to even become attached in the first place. They appear cold and hard-hearted as a means of protecting themselves, which pushes people even further away. They escalate their disowned feelings and recreate the same painful experiences again and again, wishing they could handle their emotions better, but still refusing to put any of this into practice. They continue to project their unprocessed thoughts and feelings onto others, convinced they themselves cannot change, yet expect others to do the emotional work.
Forgiveness of self and others builds mental, emotional and spiritual muscles – in today’s world, where strength and endurance are key to living fulfilled lives, practising this through meditation is something we could all use a lot more of each day……contact us to see what our clients are doing!