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Silence and Stillness
Silence
A period of conscious silence is something I yearn for on a regular basis – for me, solitude is a vital part of my wellbeing formula and something I know that I simply cannot do without. This silence can give back meaning to the words we speak – the language we use and the words we choose sometimes lose all meaning when we natter away all the time. We talk so much that it sometimes feels that all we’re doing is just adding to the general noise out there, and sometimes the more we talk, the more we feel alone. By being quiet, it doesn’t mean you have to shut yourself away – as pleasant as this can be – it’s about holding on to some quietness in yourself while you’re out and about in the world.
Book an appointment with yourself, say, Sunday at 2pm or Thursday at 7pm, and make a note of your feelings at that time. Go for a walk with your partner, or a friend, and keep a companionable silence – fight the urge to fill this silence with empty words. Or, next time you go to see a film or an exhibition, don’t feel that you have to comment immediately on everything you see – just take it all in, let it incubate or germinate, let it wash over you and then decide on what it is you really want to say with feeling. Silence helps you look, think and figure things out……and then when you do re-engage with people, it’s amazing that you find you are able to listen to and hear them even better.
Stillness
The practice of stillness is not about just sitting around and doing nothing – funnily enough it is the deliberate repetition of actions and gestures. It is as crucial to the development of the self as it is to achieve any other skill in life. Ritual and routine, as awful as they may sound, make us feel secure in our daily lives and they reinforce our part in society. Persistence, in the face of difficulties, is undoubtedly one of the best antidotes to mental confusion and chronic dissatisfaction – two of the main reasons for such unhappiness created by our fast-paced, channel-hopping culture. Perseverance, persistence, being like a dog with a bone, or whatever you wish to call it, helps us to unearth our best resources and build our self-esteem.
To become good at finding stillness, it’s important to be truly present, not constantly thinking of where else you could be, or with whom. Be deliberate in your intentions and introduce a few more rituals into your life such as sit-down meals, get-togethers and day trips out. Even give them more of a formal setting by sending out written invitations for organised activities – it is by living life with a renewed sense of purpose that we practise stillness, believe it or not. Make it a priority to always be present, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, reminding yourself to be happy, right here, right now.