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Being in-between
One of the hardest things about lockdown has been the concept of letting go of the old and familiar, and being willing to stand, with our hands empty, waiting for them to be filled again with whatever the “new” is.
This may apply to feelings, where we may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in-between pain and the serenity and acceptance of joy.
This in-between place can also apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us, as we let go of the bird in the hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in-between can apply to many areas of life. We can be in-between jobs, partners, homes, goals. We can even be in-between behaviours as we let go of our old way of being, not certain what we will replace it with. Behaviours that have protected and served us well all our lives, such as caretaking and controlling, may no longer be helpful.
We may have many feelings going on when we’re in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear and doubt about what lies ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. It’s not always easy, but we must accept them, feel them and then release them.
Being in-between is no fun, but it is necessary, as we shed the old skin and become something new. It will not last forever, even though right now, there doesn’t seem to be any light at the end of any tunnel. It feels like we’re just standing still, in a hiatus, not going anywhere, in limbo land, simply waiting and watching, powerless to do anything, our old proactive, initiative, inspiring self completely AWOL…..but we’re not. We are standing at the in-between place, and this place is where we need to be to get from here to there. It is not the end destination – see it merely as the pit-stop that it is.
We are all moving forward, even when it feels as though we’re stuck fast, in-between, this is not so….we, most certainly, are all headed in the right direction.
Stay safe, dear friends, keep the faith and may we all be together again soon. God bless you all.