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Choosing The Right Therapist
Research shows that people who have a good relationship with their therapist get the most out of therapy. The ideal is that you like (even to go
so far as to say, enjoy) talking with your therapist and feel as though your therapist likes talking to you. This is simply because a strong relationship generally leads to better outcomes.
However, even after figuring out who is affordable and available, finding a provider who is the right fit for your personality and specific needs, can still take some work. Casting the net as wide as possible is certainly recommended, plus not getting discouraged as you carry out this potentially time-consuming search. In addition, taking advantage of the free 15/30-minute phone consultation, that any practitioner worth their salt offers, is a must if you want to be sure that you’d like to work together.
Here are five other points to consider when embarking on choosing your therapist:
- Consider your background – and theirs. Working with a therapist who has a similar lived experience to yours can offer security and affirmation, especially if you’re dealing with cultural or religious issues. In these situations, speaking with someone who “gets it” and “gets you” can be vital in terms of building trust. On the other hand, there can also be real value in working with a therapist who has a different identity and can broaden your perspective. If a matching identity is important to you, filter your online search with factors such as language, sexual orientation or faith – if it’s unclear how a therapist identifies, don’t feel shy to ask.
- Look for expertise. It’s helpful to secure a therapist with the right training and experience relevant to your specific needs. Carrying out an online search through Google, Psychology Today and/or The Counselling Directory are your best friends here. If somebody claims to be an expert in something, chances are they will be marketing themselves with this in mind. During your first conversation with them, feel free to ask whether they have treated people in similar situations and what the outcome was, obviously without disclosing anything confidential. A good therapist, secure in themselves, will be only too happy to answer such questions, delighted at the prospect of working with such a discerning client!
- Be specific about feedback. Compatible communication styles help any relationship work well, and this includes communication in therapy. Some therapists who specialise in psychoanalysis will allow the client to do most of the talking, maybe offering some validation, or just listening to a lot throughout the session. Others specialising in cognitive behavioural therapy, for example, take a more structured approach. To see if it’s a match, ask your potential therapist how they work and deliver feedback, and be sure to share your preferences too.
- Check that you define success the same way. Make sure you and your therapist agree on your goals by contracting to work together towards achieving something measurable and/or observable. Learning how to measure progress with clear milestones is vital, because it’s not just about the end result that’s being co-created here but rather, and more importantly, the process that we go through in order to get there. Some therapists may track their clients’ emotional states and symptom improvement with questionnaires, so ask how they define success and how you’ll know when you’re done with therapy.
- Find someone who is like-minded. A sense of intellectual kinship can be important because it’s related to trust. Can I trust that this person knows at least as much about the world as I do? Enquiring about licences, certificates and qualifications that a therapist has, and which professional bodies they belong to, is one way to get a feel for intellectual priorities. You can also ask them if they have been in therapy themselves, and how recently. Not everyone will feel comfortable answering such a direct question, but those prepared to reveal that they have their own therapist are demonstrating a true commitment to their own personal growth and development, not to mention meeting the ethical requirements of good practice. Their investment shows a strong belief in the power of therapy, that it is a force to be reckoned with, bringing about both an effective and a desired change for the good.